Thick as Thieves, Tali Spencer
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Genre: Gay Romance
Tags: Erotic, Fantasy/Paranormal, Humor
Length: 200 Pages
Blurb: After Vorgell the barbarian fucks himself with a unicorn horn, he ends up in a cell with Maddog, a pretty young thief. It’s lust at first sight for Vorgell—but honestly, he can’t help it. Unicorn horn is a potent aphrodisiac, and now he can’t stop thinking about sex. Luckily, Madd is one male witch who knows how to put Vorgell’s new magical body to good use when he tricks Vorgell into a kiss that helps them escape.
Vorgell may desire sex in general—and Madd in particular—but Madd has no intention of being screwed by a man twice his size. He has problems of his own, including an enchanted collar that causes him to desire his most hated enemy. He wants that collar off as soon as possible, but that requires stealing a basilisk egg from the castle they just escaped.
Drawn together by lust and magic, the two men join forces and soon find themselves up to their necks in witches, wizards, and trouble. Vorgell and Madd might just be perfect for each other, but first they have to survive long enough to find out.
I don’t often post book blurbs in my reviews but I had to this time. This is the greatest blurb ever. I am not one to read fantasy-type books but after reading that blurb? Oh yeah. I was definitely going to read this one. I’m really glad that I did. It was a great story.
We first meet Vorgell of Scur when he is thrown into a cell after he is caught fucking himself with a unicorn horn. He not only fucked himself with the unicorn horn, but the unicorn horn dissolved in his rectum, therefore filling Vorgell’s body with magic unlike anything he could have ever imagined. He also ate berries that suddenly appeared and those berries (aka ‘love berries’) made him hornier than ever. You see, unicorn horns are magic. Witches and wizards from all over want them for their magical powers. A small piece of a unicorn horn will make a man horny for awhile but an entire horn? Poor Vorgell can’t keep his erection down no matter how hard he tries. He will fuck anyone – or anything – as long as he is able to get some type of release for his raging and persistent hard-on. When he is thrown into a cell he realizes he’s not alone. On the other side of the room is a small man who identifies himself as Madd.
Unicorn horn created unabated sexual desire in anyone who partook of it — the baron’s magicians had explained that too — and he had partaken of enough horn to fuel the lusts of a horde for the rest of his natural life.
“… All I remember is having vivid dreams about, well, erect members. Apparently the creature’s horn was too… shapely to resist. When the baron’s soldiers caught me, I was fucking myself with the thing. Unicorn horns dissolve inside, did you know that?”
“Actually, I do.” At least it sounded as though he believed him. “Are you telling me your barbarian ass consumed the whole horn?”
“Yes,” he admitted.
“Which explains why you’re here and sporting that.”
Madd is a witchkin – not quite a witch but with some magical powers. Unlike Vorgell, who is as huge as three men, Madd is quite small. When Vorgell turns his huge cock toward Madd, he knows that no way in hell is that thing coming anywhere near him – or his ass. Madd has been imprisoned by Baron Flemgu for stealing a mandolin. It is later discovered that Vorgell had been thrown in the cell in hopes of fucking Madd to death. The baron is quite aware of the magical powers of unicorn horns so throwing the two men together seemed like the perfect plan.
There is more to Madd than just stealing a mandolin. He has been enslaved by the baron and forced to wear a cursed collar and submit to being his sex slave. The collar can only be removed with the help of a basilisk egg that the baron keeps well secured.
Vorgell sees Madd across the room and knows he will be inside him. His erection is aching and what do you know? There’s a man right there with a hot ass. Only Madd is smart and he also knows that the big guy’s now magical blood is about to come in handy to make an escape and he uses it for just that.
Vorgell and Madd go on the run. They must escape for now, only to return later when the baron is gone. Madd must steal the basilisk egg or he will never be free of the baron and his powers. Reluctant allies, the two take off in search of items needed in order to break back into the baron’s castle so that Madd can finally be free. Vorgell is a warrior without a home and becomes protective of Madd and the two of them somehow find a way to work together to do what needs to be done to rid Madd of the cursed collar.
A lot of interesting characters are introduced along the way, both good and bad. There are witches, wizards, thieves and fiends, the last of which are created from the deaths of others. The female witches do not like Madd or his kind, though he has his own magical powers. After securing the materials needed to make it back to the baron’s castle, things don’t go quite as planned and one is captured and tormented in a horrible way. With a little help from a female witch in the castle who is also on the run, he is rescued and Vorgell and Madd embark on another journey, only this time to save the wife of the baron who has been taken by the wizards in order to create more fiends. Of course, throughout all of this Vorgell has a massive erection that points in the direction of anyone and everyone and even a few things (knot holes!) His cock is not picky. It just needs to be inside someone or some thing and once it comes, it’s ready to go again. That damn unicorn horn!
As much as sex is discussed in this book, there’s not as much actual sex as one would expect. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of sucking (Vorgell’s sperm is magical and Madd needs it to boost his own magical powers) and there are a couple of other sexual situations but mostly it’s poor Vorgell wanting and needing sex in the worst kind of way and it is discussed a lot. Poor guy. 🙂 It’s also described pretty graphically and I found that to be hot as hell.
Vorgell and Madd grow closer on their journey. Vorgell starts to care a lot more about Madd than he probably should and it’s more than just the amazing blowjobs that Madd keeps giving him. He really starts to care for him as a person. Madd, on the other hand, just wants to be rid of the baron’s collar so that he can finally go back to having some type of life – not that the life he had before he was captured was much. He has always been an outcast, treated poorly by those in the magical world because of circumstances of his birth. He feels that he is nothing more than a petty thief who is as much of a lowlife as he’s been called his entire life. Vorgell doesn’t see him that way. Vorgell sees the strongest man he’s ever known and will go to his grave, if necessary, to protect the smaller man. Madd makes it known almost immediately that he’s only using Vorgell for his magical sperm and to not expect anything other than sex from him. There are no feelings to be gotten from him.
There is a lot of humor in the book and there is also quite a bit of violence. The sexual situations, while hot, are sometimes quite humorous. You can’t help but feel sorry for Vorgell because of his constant, painful erections. Madd is a snarky, little thing and I fell in love with him immediately. I felt a lot of sympathy for him because he has forever been degraded and criticized due to the circumstances of his birth, something he himself had no control over. The relationship is anything but traditional but only a few pages in I knew they would be perfect together. The resolution was nice and left the door open for another story. I’ll be sure to read it if that is so.
Overall, a very nice story with a cast of very entertaining characters. Highly recommended if you are looking for something different from traditional M/M romance. Had I not accidentally seen this blurb, I totally would have missed out and that would have been a shame. A very entertaining read.
Note that the picture on the right has absolutely nothing to do with the story. I just thought it was hot. 😉
This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press in exchange for a fair and honest review.