Guest Post & Giveaway: Daniel A. Kaine
Welcome everyone to day ten of the Slasherazzi blog tour, and thanks for having me. As always, there will be chances to enter the giveaway for a copy of the ebook.
As is the case with most writers, I’m an avid reader too. Now, I’m not one of these authors who dissects every sentence, using books as research material to better my craft. I read because I enjoy it, and the last thing I want to do is turn a hobby into work. So, I wanted to talk a little bit today about reading. And since this is a blog tour to celebrate the release of a book about a serial killer, I decided to go down the horror route; my top peeves while reading that are likely to send me on a killing spree!
I love reading a well-written sex scene that makes me feel like going for a smoke afterward, even though I don’t smoke. However, there are so many things certain authors do during sex scenes that make me want to start brandishing a knife.
First up, euphemisms. If I’m reading sex, I want to be aroused, not laughing my ass off because character A has shoved his pork sword inside character B’s pucker, penetrating the clenching guardian muscles and delving into the tight velvet heat.
No. Just no.
And then there are the biological impossibilities. If you’re going to write sex, at least make sure that the position is physically possible. Characters that end up with a third arm appearing out of nowhere, while screwing their partner from behind, even though the two of them are staring directly into each other’s eyes, are not sexy. If anything it reminds me of that scene in True Blood. You know, the one with the backwards head sex. Creepy.
Another thing that makes me want to pick up a hatchet and starting swinging wildly, is insta-love. As you can imagine, I’m not a particular fan of werewolf mating books, though I’ve read a couple of good ones.
Sorry, paranormal lovers, but I find the concept of mating to be a copout. At least give us some build up to the relationship, and not just ‘oh, you smell nice because you’re my mate, and it’s fate that we’re supposed to be together, so I’m all in love with you now and we’re gonna be together forever!’
Which brings me onto my next point. Fluff! Oh, fluff, how I despise thee. I’m all for characters talking about their feelings and saying the ‘L’ word… every now and then. But when the fluff:plot ratio starts increasing, I find myself increasingly tempted to commit Kindlecide. And when characters start waxing poetic about love and relationships… Ugh! I guess I’m just more of a fan of realism than fantasy when it comes to romances. Give me angst any day!
Next on my list of triggers, is characters/authors who ramble. This ties in with my disdain for ‘classics’. I tried reading Rebecca once, and I had to put it down after every few pages because of sheer boredom because it would take the author two paragraphs to tell me there were flowers of a certain colour growing by the side of the house. At times like that, I was tempted to either smash my head against the wall, or simply tear up the pages.
And finally, one thing that really drives me to stabby urges is when cover models don’t match the character descriptions. I get that we’re not always able to find a stock image with a guy who has ripped abs and pecs who happens to have the same hair style/colour as our character, but using someone who doesn’t match at all just leaves me feeling confused. Why put him on the cover if he’s not actually in the book?
And if you’ve read this far, thanks for sticking with my rant. Why not comment below on some of your pet peeves?
Daniel was born and raised in the Land of Rain, aka England, where he now lives with his four lovable furballs; Mik, Ash, Spidey and Flash. Originally trained as a Biology teacher, Daniel was unsure what to do with his life until he came across fanfiction for his favourite anime and decided to have a go at writing his own. To this day, he still cringes at the memory of the cheesy terminology he used.
When not writing, Daniel enjoys a variety of activities, including running, going to the gym, bondage, watching anime, and the mass-slaying of virtual monsters in the hopes of receiving epic loot. One day, he hopes to become a werepanther and invent chocolate that can be eaten all day without making you fat.
Recently promoted to Detective, Alex is out to prove himself and the Slasherazzi case is the perfect opportunity. Mutilated corpses are showing up across Tampa, and when the team discovers the newest victim was tortured alive, Alex becomes more determined than ever to stop the crazed serial killer before the horrific stabbings escalate further.
With the return of Alex’s ex-boyfriend and journalist, Vince, the investigation takes a dangerous twist: the killer starts showing a personal interest in Alex. Can he stop the murders and salvage his relationship with Vince, or does he risk letting both men get away?
You can find Cindi’s 4.5 star review of Slasherazzi here.
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