Book Tour & Giveaway : Becoming Kerry, Lynn Kelling
Loss—Mine, Theirs & Ours
Loss is one of the heaviest topics to write about. It’s a theme woven through my new release, Becoming Kerry, but I aimed to avoid overwhelming the story with heaviness. I wanted to let the way loss appears lend some extra emotion and realism to what the characters endure. It was there right from the start, but in an odd, painful twist of fate, between writing the first draft of this book and beginning edits to it, I lost my youngest brother, Matt, to an accidental, untimely death. He fell and hit his head during the night in his apartment, and neither he nor the folks at a local urgent care clinic detected the swelling in his brain resulting from the fall and which would cause his brain death within the next twelve hours. He was thirty-three years old.
Matt’s death has been one of the greatest challenges of my life, and it has changed literally everything for me on many levels. Processing the reality of going on without him is still a struggle, a year and a half later. It’s given life meaning in ways I never expected. It’s gotten my priorities in order. It’s shown me it’s not worth putting up with shit that makes you miserable because we never know when it’s our time to go. It helps me live every day to the fullest. It reminds me to hug people tighter and to tell them how much they mean to me, as often as I can. It’s taught me to let go. It’s shown me how much a single person impacts our lives, in ways we would have never seen when they were still alive.
It’s a spooky process that is impossible to fully understand unless you’ve been through it yourself.
Obviously, I hadn’t planned to be working on a story so much about loss right when I was going through all of this. The theme moves in and out of the book, through the plot, between characters and moments. It’s alternately blatant and secretive. It was there waiting for me when I went back to work on the story. Rather than being a burden, it turned out to be a wondrous, cosmic gift of fate I still give thanks for. Because one true thing about loss is you’ve gotta find ways to get through it, face it, and deal with it. You’ve gotta sink down in it and claw your way to the other side. It shows you just how strong you really are. I used my experiences, so damned fresh, to inform everything Kerry and Ewyn go through with their own losses. I used them to help talk about such an uncomfortable subject that we all will have to deal with sooner or later, no matter what.
We like to pretend we’re going to live forever, and we’ll have our loved ones always beside us. Those are terrible lies we tell ourselves. It creates missed chances to appreciate what we have, while we still have it. Kerry understands this. Ewyn does just as much. They get it before the story starts and they continue to grow and adapt as the book goes on. I tried to show that same shell-shocked pain in both of their hearts, because that type of appreciation for existence is a beautiful thing. It’s a testament to how much we’ve loved, and everything we’ll carry with us, forever. Because we never really lose anyone. We keep them with us, tucked safely in our hearts where they can help guide us along the rest of the path set out for us to walk.
I’ll tell you a secret—I love my brother now more than ever, and I’ve never felt closer to him. The loss of him has taught invaluable lessons. It’s shone a bright, glorious light on truth, and made everything so much more precious. I’m grateful for it, and him, and the chance to pour my heart out through my two lovely main characters. I hope their heartache draws you in, because through loss love only grows more powerful. It connects us all, a thread linking each of our stories into a big, breathtaking vision of what is, and how very lucky we are.
Kerry Sanderson is an exotic dancer, former military brat, and aspiring fashion designer, but believes he’s much more than any of those labels imply. As his relationship with transgender boyfriend Jamie falls apart, it’s Kerry’s gender identity and sexual preferences that become the real issue between them. Left questioning whether he’s been living under everyone else’s terms, and none of his own, Kerry sets out to discover who he really is. Desperate to escape his dangerous neighborhood and redefine his life, Kerry vows to start making some changes. One of the first is accepting what seems to be an innocent offer from allegedly straight security guard, Ewyn Garrity, after a long shift dancing at gay club Blaze. Safety isn’t the only thing Ewyn tempts Kerry with as sparks fly and lines are crossed. The more acceptance Kerry finds in Ewyn, the more he’s tempted to let go of the fear and self-doubt that had been hampering his ability to be himself. But the more honest Kerry is, slowly accepting the feminine aspects of his identity and becoming vulnerable, the more deadly threats he faces when blind intolerance threatens before he’s barely bloomed. (M/M, M/GQ)
- Author: Lynn Kelling
- Title: Becoming Kerry
- Genres: BDSM, Bisexual, Contemporary, Drama, Erotica, GLBT, Romance, Transgender
- Length: Novel (92,000 words)
- Release Date: August 8th, 2017
- ISBN: Ebook 978-1-62234-331-7, Print 978-1-62234-332-4
- Format Available: Ebook (mobi, pdf, epub) and sold in print on demand.
- Imprint: ForbiddenFiction
- Publisher: Fantastic Fiction Publishing
- Story Page: http://forbiddenfiction.com/story/lk1-1-000267/
About the Author: